It is hard to believe that nearly a month ago I was preparing  for one of the biggest and most exciting challenge in my career as a photographer. It has taken me this long to distill my thoughts and still I am struggling to really put my thoughts into a tangible form this experience was that significant. Let me explain. More than 3 years ago I started to save my dimes to put towards some educational investment when it came to my work. I wasn’t sure at the time what I was saving for, but before long it became apparent that I needed to go to one of the toughest and most gruelling workshop around for wedding photographers.– the Foundation workshop (FW). Turned out that the $6 000+ investment became more about me, than about a guy clicking a button on a camera. Which is fine, because as it turns out, that is exactly what I needed.

My head was hazy, body fatigued from sleep depravation that took me well over a week to get over.(not surprising given that I averaged 3-4 hours a night for 5 days). Many of the other students have posted their own thoughts on their blogs, and I only read the first paragraph of one, and stopped because I really didn’t want their thoughts to bias my own. Especially given that this experience is so individual and personal.

Really my learning began when I signed up. It was challenging to take my mind out of the equation, and simply trust that I was picking the right team for me. It is challenging for me to not overthink things, and this is something that became even more evident during the process. So I signed up for Sergio’s team, along with 5 other students. Sergio is arguably, one of the best wedding overall wedding photographers in North America. Along with the 2 team mentors Katrina Wallace, and Daniel Agular – hardly slouches in their own right, if I can shoot half as good as either of them I would be a happy man. And then Gulnara the team volunteer who worked as a press photographer, and was at the bottom of the world trade centres shooting during the bedlam on 9/11, and has incredible published images to back up her incredible stories of that horrific day. My intention isn’t to  ‘blow smoke’, but it is to tell the truth, these 4 people that I was going to spend the next 5+ days with are incredibly talented people, people who are fantastic at what they do, and fantastic at capturing the important moments at a wedding. To say the least, this is an intimidating room to walk in at first. But that soon ended (until they started to watch you shoot, and dig through your work – more on that later) when you realized that these people were here you push you into growth as a photographer, and in turn as a person. Each of them in a totally down to earth and caring way. Sure, what I was paying all that money for was to get ‘my ass kicked’ and FW wouldn’t disappoint.

Saturday night was getting to know everyone, Sunday was team meetings and overall training. Then the hard part started Monday and Tuesday were shooting all day. Shooting your assignments and telling a story through your photographs. Then at night we would be going through every frame that I took each day, pulling them apart one by one. Sergio telling me how each of them could be improved, sometimes having images discarded for what seemed at the time the most minute detail. But most didn’t make it that far, most didn’t make it on the screen in front of the 10 of us for more than a split second. “Dis is crap” or “Dis is not-ing” Sergio would say in his sometimes abrupt, but always endearing and almost empathetic Mexican accent. This is an absolutely torturous hour, to blister through close to 1000 images, and have 2 that are barely passable.

Now I should have explained my assignment a little bit. My assignment was to cover Ruby and Chuck, owners and operators of Windmill farms in Tolar Texas. A quaint bed and breakfast. A bed and breakfast without any guests, and Chuck was off at work on the Monday, and Ruby was at work on the Tuesday. Challenging, but incredibly exciting.

I felt Tuesday went far better, I felt like I was making progress, and improving and implementing the insights and direction given. Until I had my critique that night. Sergio had more plans for me – still “no-ting”, he wanted to push me further, and further he did. To say the least, I had hit bottom, in fact it felt like I had bounced off bottom, change hurts. It was a pain like I had never felt before, a pain that ran deep into my core, I cared so much and wanted to succeed so badly it was hard to take that my best wasn’t enough. I was going out on Wednesday to get more images. Not that I needed more images, I had missed the most important point of all. I had missed having a connection with Ruby and Chuck, and was just concerned about taking the photographs. I knew all about their b&b operation, I knew everything about them. And heck I think I could put a windmill together right beside Chuck – the master restorer of antique windmills. But I didn’t connect with them as people. And there lies the paradox, great photography isn’t just about light, exposure, and composition. Frankly that is secondary, secondary to a genuine connection to your subject. And that is the key to fantastic photography. It really has more to do with that connection. Sure I learned a tremendous amount from some of the best in the world about technical aspects of photography, and for both myself and my work are grateful. But I far more grateful for the new path I have been put on. The path to fantastic photography.

To make a long story longer, we had a presentation of work from each of the students on the Thursday night. Nerve wracking putting your work up in front of your peers (people like Anna Kuperburg, Ben Chrisman, David Murray, Tyler Wirken, Huy Nguyen to name only a few, likely people you may never heard of, but be assured they are heavy weights in the wedding photography industry Google them you will see) and 50+ people. When at the beginning of the week I thought that I would be lucky to have only 3 shots in my show. I ended up with 12. Presented in front of me I witnessed some of the best work I had seen, and I got more and more nervous that I would flop, and to top it off we had to speak about our experiences after our show. On the exterior I was calm, but internally I was vibrating. My work finally came up, and all I could think of was how I hoped I wouldn’t flop. I am not sure I took a breath for that 48 seconds of my show. But I received that resounding cheers and back slaps as I walked to the front just as the others did. Ultimately, this show didn’t matter, heck the pictures didn’t matter. But man that felt good, really good, and really validating. I felt so much support and well… love from everyone when I stood up there and tried to share my experiences. Thanks to my FW family, thanks for your support and congratulations after the presentations were complete. It means more than you know, but more importantly it means so much to be part of “the family”.

I am so thankful for all that I have learned from Sergio and his incredible team. I feel that I have ‘more tools in the tool box’ now, and I am exceptionally excited for what is to come. you taught me how to think, see and most importantly feel. You helped me see the world differently, and take my work to ”the other level”. There really is so much that can be said here, the depth of what I learned from you is profound. I feel empowered, equipped, and incredibly excited. You have helped me build on what I had, and now I have so much more. I thank you, and I know that my future couples will benefit greatly. I had a great connection with my subjects before, and I can’t wait to see what my new connections will foster. You made me a better photographer, and as cliché as it sounds a better person.

I now have plenty of blog posts to read from my fellow students, and a since I  have this “right of passage” under my belt, I feel there is plenty of exciting images in my future.

Here are a couple of my favourites – we were asked to only share 2 of our favourites.

I love the fact that there is so many levels to this photograph. Chuck was named after his Uncle Charles pictured on the right. Chuck spent 20 years in the US Navy on nuclear submarines pictured on the table with a shot of him as a child in a military costume, in the middle of the shot. Chucks 94 year old Aunt did the American flag and his Mother the crest above it. And Ruby is coming out of her office that she does her B&B business in.